Do Hurry
by Madame Wolf
Summary: The London Suburbs can provide haven for those who are in hiding. Sheltering under the blanket of domesticity is Ginny Weasley favouring a simpler, Muggle existence. However, Remus won't let her get away without a fight, will he?
1. Chapter 1

**Do Hurry  
**Chapter One

Every Sunday was his, and he accepted his responsibility with enthusiasm. He would hail a taxi at the curb of his apartment and would settle into the musty cloth seats as he told the driver where to go. The drive to her new house was always one full of anticipation. If he had brought a gift, then he would occupy his mind and hands with it so he did not have to think about the awkward moments to come.

When the car pulled up to the suburban address, he would thank the driver, pay him, and walk up to the door. Since their divorce, she had found a man. He was her, what did they call it? Oh, right, "fiancé"… and they had moved to the outer fringes of the city. It amused him to see the perfect gardens and precise paths of the houses, even if she now obeyed the rules and groomed her lawn as such. It was autumn, cold, and he barely managed to stop from shivering as he crunched along the gravel.

'Remus, do hurry.' She muttered from the door.

He raised his eyes to her form that huddled by the frame. Though her words and behaviour tried to emulate the icy housewives of her neighbourhood, she could never truly temper her passion. She loved bright clothes, and she loved her slinky dresses that still fit her after a child. He wondered why she wore the skirt she knew he loved; was it to torture him with the way it clung her thigh? It was cold, autumn this year was chilly, so she wore a pair of black stockings that lent her some modesty, but he could remember the day she would flounce about without and drive him crazy.

_Things sure have changed_, he thought to himself, half tongue-in-cheek, half in misery. _Do hurry?_

Remus smiled at her as he walked through the door, and the tight lipped one she gave him in return made all his happiness dissipate. 'Sorry I'm late.' It felt like the distance between the city and the suburbs was increasing every week.

She did not acknowledge his apology, but she accepted his coat and hung it on the coat rack. 'Audrey is waiting in her room. Would you like some tea?'

Remus nodded. 'Tea would be lovely, thank you.'

They walked through the living room to the kitchen. Muggle inventions littered the room, like the refrijerater in the corner, and she moved through it like she had never been a witch, never been a Weasley, never been a Lupin. 'Three sugars, right?'

He nodded again, wondering if he would ever stop nodding, if he would nod into infinity. 'I haven't lost my sweet tooth.'

'Obviously not.' She murmured and took a carton of milk from the refrijerater to pour into his tea. 'Here you are.'

They sipped in silence, the usual awkward silence they both hated so much.

'I take it you haven't told him yet. Julian, I mean.' Remus asked after the quiet made his ears itch.

'It's Jeff.' She placed the tea on the counter and shook her head. 'No, I haven't.'

'You'll have to soon, though.'

'I don't tell you how to live your life, Remus. Don't tell me how to live mine.'

He let out a short breath of air, a clear indication he was annoyed. 'It isn't your life I'm worried about, Ginny, it is my – our – daughter's. Does she know about magic yet?'

She shook her head again, and Remus had to take a sip of tea to stop bitter words from spilling out. Her indecision infuriated him. She had no right to withhold information from Audrey. Why had she been all too happy to let Audrey know from day one that Julian, or John or whatever his name, was not her father and that he, Remus, was? Yet, the knowledge that she was a witch was too much for a little girl. He could not stand it.

'Why are you hiding the wizarding world from her? She has a right to know.'

Ginny would not look at him. She twisted the ring on her finger, Jeff's ring. 'I don't know. I can never bring myself to tell her.'

Remus had nothing to say, and for that reason, the Fates pushed Audrey out of her room, down the stairs and into the kitchen. The child called "Dad!" and clambered into his lap, bringing with her the smell of freshly washed youth and an excited air that soon became contagious.

'What are we doing this week, Daddy?' She asked and Remus smiled at her, the smile of a father in a position of almost absolute bliss. Forget the fact Ginny was engaged to a Muggle, and that he was just the part-time Dad, and Remus could be in bliss.

He played with her pigtails, the same colour his had been Before. 'We are going into town and we're going to have ice cream at Frank's.'

Audrey's eyes widened with the promise of the Best Ice Cream in The Entire World. 'Can I stay the night again, Daddy?'

His smile lost some of its radiance. 'No, sweetheart.' Remus' eyes flicked to Ginny's, perfectly bland and unexpressive. 'That was just once because Mummy was out of town.'

Last week had been one of the best weekends he had spent with Audrey since the divorce. It was all due to the fact that Ginny had needed to visit her family. Refusing to use the Floo, or any other type of magical transportation, she had bought a train ticket and asked Remus to look after Audrey for the entire weekend. That rose questions about the trust she had in the men in her life that needed answering, and by the tingling in his left ear, the time to leave was approaching. His ear had a way of knowing these things.

'You'd best be going.' Ginny said and pointed to the clock. 'It's almost eleven and I'd hate for you to waste your day indoors.'

Remus sipped the tea a final time, not finishing it because he rarely finished his tea, and placed Audrey on the floor so he could get out of the chair. Ginny automatically cleared the cups and plates and then wiped her hands on a tea towel. 'Be good, Audrey.' Remus knew the song so well that he could mouth the words and play lead guitar. They hugged one another.

'Have a good time.' She told Remus. 'Dinner is going to be served at six.'

Remus leant forward and kissed her cheek, making her tense. 'Have a good day, Ginny.'

He took Audrey by the hand and they walked towards the door, which he let her open. It made her feel like a big girl because Ginny always made Jeff go first when they left the house, like he could protect them from every little thing outside their door.

'Remus,' Ginny called from the end of the hallway.

He turned and suppressed the urge to sigh. She looked so tame, so domestic. He could have had it all, and he let it all disappear. Instead of harsh words about the current state his life was in, he settled for a simple: "Yes?"

'If you want to join us, at dinner I mean, then you are welcome to.'

Remus smiled, he seemed to do it quite a lot when he was in the presence of his daughter, and nodded. 'Thank you. I'll think about it.' Turning back to Audrey, who was getting impatient and annoyed, he guided her out the door. 'Come on, little cub, we have ice cream to eat and Frank to terrorise.'

Frank's was an Italian restaurant that had a reputation as providers of the Best Ice Cream in the Entire World, ridiculously cheap pasta for the city and pizza with olives on every order. Frank himself had died some years ago, but, with the imagination only life-long residents of London could possess, the sons had continued with the name and the aforementioned reputation. Remus had spent a great deal of the Missing Years during the eighties eating good pasta and enjoying the company of random strangers. Later, he took Ginny there for their first, second and fourth dates. He now helped his daughter into the chair and ordered for the both of them.

'…and then Sally told me that her horse had much more power than my horse, so I kicked her. Mummy didn't like that much, and she didn't like it when I slammed the door. But Daddy, I didn't mean the pot plant to explode. Mummy yelled at me for ages and grounded me, which was not fair!'

Remus rubbed his eyes and mentally cursed Ginny for the psychological upset she was causing everyone in her vicinity. 'Sweetheart, you shouldn't be slamming doors. I guess you need to be more careful next time.'

She frowned and sipped from her lemonade. 'I can't help it. I get really angry at Mummy and sometimes Jeff, but mostly Mummy, and then I can't control what I do. It would be better if I lived with you. I never get angry at you.'

He smiled. 'You never get a chance to be angry with me. We're always eating ice cream. It's going to rot your teeth.' Remus put a sly grin on his face. 'Maybe I shouldn't let you have some after lunch.'

Audrey's mouth dropped open (revealing perfectly innocent, white teeth). 'No!'

'Yes! And I'd make you clean your room and be absolutely polite to Sally Sallinger.'

'Daddy!'

The waiter arrived with their order, which he arranged on the table. 'Thank you.' Remus murmured. 'Well, maybe I won't do any of those things. I'm not that nasty.'

They ate and talked about Audrey's life which, as a five-year-old, she had no qualms over discussing non-stop. Remus loved hearing about anything about her, and he loved the moments he could have in the well-worn seats at Frank's, a timelessness washing over him. Time had no right to intrude on meals at Frank's, and it had even less right to intrude on time spent at Frank's in the company of his daughter.

Food disappeared into hungry mouths and soon the plates were clean. Remus had an odd tugging feeling on his right ear, which meant they needed to be heading off. His right ear had a way of knowing these things. He paid the bill and let Audrey chose her ice cream flavour, which involved pressing her face against the glass to see which one looked the most delicious. It would have no effect on her inevitable choice, which would be choc mint. A perfect mix of her father and her mother's tastes.

They walked over the cracked streets of London, licking ice creams and not talking much due to the licking of ice creams. Audrey broached the idea of heading to the park because the poor ducks needed company on such a cold day. It was autumn, after all, and they had no coats, as she argued.

The park was clear of people and ducks, which did not surprise him. Audrey found a bottle cap that had belonged to a bottle of a Muggle drink and pleaded that she could keep it. Having no real good reason as to why not, Remus allowed her to pick it up, polish it and put it in her pocket. He was in a good mood.

As the sky, which had never been that bright to begin with, grew darker, they grew less inclined to walk. Remus' nose began to itch, so he knew it was time to hail a taxi and head to the dreaded Suburbs. For some reason, hailing a taxi was absurdly easy when Audrey was with him and they were soon in the musty, clothed seats, rolling around as they tried to get seat belted.

The ride back to the Suburbs was uneventful, and the horrible feeling that he had wasted another weekend with Audrey began to take Remus over like a sickness. They had enjoyed pasta and The Best Ice Cream in the Entire World, but had he left a lasting impression on her? He knew he would get depressed later tonight and made a mental note to get some sort of alcohol in his system before that.

Audrey was staring at the houses lined up next to each other in perverse symmetry. Although she was only five, and only a girl (John from down the street told her that girls weren't allowed to play in his gang because they were girls), she knew there was something wrong. Mr Henderson spent an hour mowing his lawns on Saturdays; she'd watch him from her living room window as her mother cleaned the spotless house. When she went with her Father (and John also told her that having two dads was Gay and really rotten and that she couldn't play with him even if she had been a boy), everything felt right.

The taxi pulled up at her house and Remus paid the man the fare and enquired whether he could possibly please come back in, say, two hours? With a secured method of transportation, Remus picked up his coat and walked Audrey up to the door. Ginny opened it before they could knock, and they were absorbed into the house.

Smells were wafting over to where they stood and the gallivanting in the park had made them hungry again. Ginny told them both to wash up, which they did dutifully and thoroughly. When they returned downstairs, a meal was laid out for them, and they took places at the table. Jeff had returned home from visiting friends and was explaining every detail of the trip to Ginny, who had a look of positive enthrallment plastered on to her face. Remus had to stop and wonder if Jeff saw how painted Ginny was. Had he ever seen her?

Ginny's dinner managed to be the medium in which tamed domesticity found its way into a human body. A person can appreciate a clean room and a freshly made bed, but by ingesting roast chicken with fluffy potatoes and string beans, all drizzled with home made gravy, a person can feel contentment rising out of them.

Contentment tinged with jealousy, or anger, or in Remus' case, both, is rarely a safe thing for a mind. Mixed in with a chocolate cake for dessert, and Jeff's complaints of indigestion, and Remus could have jimmied open the liquor cabinet in front of them and taken a great guzzle of cooking sherry.

Remus stood up and said good by to his sweetheart, telling her they would visit the ducks again next weekend, and yes, he would bring an extra coat just in case. Ginny escorted him to the door and farewelled him quickly as if the sooner he was gone the sooner her life was back to its pristine self.

The taxi was waiting for him and when he climbed in, the rustling of newspaper greeted him.

'Where to?' Asked the driver as he folded the paper into some order.

Remus had his forehead resting on the cold glass of the window, watching the Suburban nightmare like a tourist at the zoo. 'Take me home.'

* * *

Ginny rolled over and stared at Jeff's sleeping form. It melted into the shadows of the room, and his occasional breath was the only thing keeping him from being a part of the wall. He had stolen all of the blankets (again) and her pale legs were growing colder. Instead of reaching across to take some blankets from him and possibly disturbing his sleep, she slid out of bed.

Her slippers were waiting for her feet and once shod, she padded across the room to the hallway and then down the stairs. The lounge room was eerily quiet, and her eyes struggled to see anything in the dark gloom, but having failed, she turned on the lights. Ginny sat down on the couch and picked up the receiver to the phone.

It took thirteen rings before Remus woke up and answered the phone. He had been asleep.

'Remus.' She addressed him in a voice she reserved only for him. 'It's Ginny.'

There was not a lot one can answer to that, so he replied with a "Yes?"

She played with the hem of her nightgown – the edge had become frayed after many years of good use – and sighed. 'I don't think I want to you to come next Sunday.'

There was a slight pause on the other end, followed by a muffled swear word. 'Ginny,' he said, 'you can't do that. I have visitation rights. I've been a model father.'

'I know you have been, Remus.'

'Then why say that I can't see my own daughter.' He sounded exasperated.

Ginny shrugged her shoulders out of habit. 'I don't know. I think I got scared.'

'You got scared by _something,_ Ginny, or else we wouldn't have broken up. What are you scared of?'

'Did you ever have dreams, Remus? Like, dreams you had when you were a kid of what you were going to be and then you grew up and they just didn't come true?'

Another pause. Contemplation radiated out of the receiver. 'Yeah, I did. I wanted to be a writer, or a poet.' He chuckled. She smiled despite herself. 'Did you ever know that?'

'I think I had an inkling.'

'What did you want to be?'

'Successful.'

Bitterness took hold of Remus, and, instead of treating the confession delicately as he would have had she been a student and he a teacher, he let his feelings get in the way of sane judgement. 'And I suppose being with me was always going to ruin your chances of being successful.' The telephone made his voice sound harsher than it should have been. 'Maybe you should tell Jordan all this.'

'His name is Jeff.' She told him. 'I thought you'd understand.'

'I don't. I don't understand anything, Ginny.'

There was a click and Remus had hung up. Ginny placed the receiver back in the cradle and looked at the clock. It was four and she knew she could not sleep any more, otherwise it would be plagued with bad dreams, or worse, dreams about good times.

Ginny stood up and walked into the kitchen, which gleamed in anticipation. The thought of fresh bread made her mouth water, so she tied an apron around her hips and began pulling out ingredients.

* * *

It was six days before Remus heard anything from Ginny. He had worked and had eaten at Frank's. He had met a woman named Sue that had red hair and was curvy in the right ways. She had bought him a drink and he had invited her back to his place. They were an item in much the same way any two types of white sock is an item after an extensive search of one's sock drawer in a vain attempt to find a pair.

The phone rang as they were enjoying a red. It was Ginny. Remus answered and said yes, he did remember what she had and no, he was not going to listen to her. Audrey was his daughter as much as she was hers. You can't do that, Ginny. That's stupid. I'm her father. Pause. Fine. Have it your way. I'll be there next week.

'What was that about?' Sue asked innocently. She was not the brightest crayon in the box, but she had red hair and brown eyes. She wore the wrong shade of lipstick, but he would buy her the right one.

'My ex-wife. She doesn't want me to visit my daughter tomorrow. But, ah, why am I telling you this when we can get another two glasses out of this bottle?'

The big windows in the lounge room provided a view of the lawn and the driveway, and Audrey had been glued to them all day long. Jeff had helped her push the squishy recliner up to the glass so that she could be comfortable as she waited. Her sense of time was under developed but she still understood that Daddy was quite late.

'Audrey, it's dinner time.' Ginny called. 'Wash up and come to the table.'

'No, not until Daddy comes.'

'Audrey, your Father is not coming tonight. I told you already. Do hurry.'

Audrey frowned. Daddy was never later and Daddy never didn't come. He always came. She had to investigate further, so she walked over to where her Mother was laying out plates. 'But what about the ducks?'

'What ducks, darling?' Ginny asked without looking at her daughter. The plates had to be straight.

'The ones in the park. Daddy and I had to dress them in coats to stop them from getting cold.'

Ginny threw the bundle of knives and forms on to the table. 'There are no ducks in the park, Audrey!'

'But Daddy said there were!'

'Daddy is a liar and a bastard!'

Audrey's eyes widened in shock. She burst into tears and ran up the stairs to her bedroom. Ginny had no chance to apologise for what she had said because the stack of plates that had been on the table had all fallen off and had left, understandably, a large and sharp mess on the floor.

* * *

_The streets were wet and shiny, the light reflecting from numerous streetlights that were, surprisingly, in working order. They were walking close together, not touching each other consciously, but when they brushed against the other, they shared a quiet smile. It was early evening, and tension hung deliciously in the air._

'_You'll love this place,' he said softly, holding her waist to stop her from walking into traffic. She was no where near the curb, but the contact was appreciated by both. 'The pasta is to die for, and the pizza isn't bad either.'_

'_Not a pizza man, then?' she asked, her lips curving in a gentle smile._

'_I love pizza. I live for pizza. That's how good the pasta is.'_

_She laughed and he found himself thinking that nothing had sounded more beautiful. He was turning to mush from several minutes in the company of this Goddess, and willingly, too. They crossed the street, his arm still around her. He opened the door and allowed her to walk in front of him into the warmth of Frank's._

_The waiter led him to his usual table, a half-hidden secluded booth that he had eaten in more times than not. 'You're a Frank's virgin, so I'll order for you.' He announced, taking the menu from her hands._

'_Oh, I see,' she said, mock-offended. 'Is that how you treat all your lady friends, Mr Lupin?'_

_He grinned over the folded paper and refused to answer her question. 'Ginny, you'll have the bacon and cheese pasta bake. Actually, I think I might have the same. Do you think we should get a bottle of red?'_

_She half-shrugged. 'Sure, I wouldn't mind getting you drunk and taking advantage of you.'_

'_I love a woman who's forward,' he said in an aside, and handed the menus to the waiter. He repeated the order and then turned his attention to his date. 'Are you sure I'm not going to get tortured by you formidable brothers?'_

'_What they don't know can't hurt them, true?'_

_He sucked in a breath of air through his teeth. 'That's a dangerous idea, there. When they find out, and, I assure you, they will, I will be in some serious trouble.'_

'_You worry too much!' She exclaimed, but a seed of doubt had been planted. 'I never tell them about the boys I'm dating.'_

'_I'm hardly a boy any more, Miss Weasley.'_

'_That doesn't change the fact you worry too much. I'll break the news to them tomorrow.'_

'_Good, excellent, great, fantastic.' He took her hand so he could kiss it._

_The night progressed better than either had expected. Wine and food made them both at ease and, although they had known each other for years, it seemed like they were only discovering one another tonight. Remus was amazed at the strings of poetry he found getting stuck in his head as he talked to her, like a lovesick teenager. Ginny had tremendous respect for her former teacher, but she admired the man in front of her even more._

_When the meal came to a conclusion, Remus paid the bill after a slight disagreement. Although Ginny had initiated the date, he had chosen the place and he declared that he should pay. With a promise to let her pay next time (and the thrill that accompanied the idea that there _would_ be a next time), Ginny acquiesced._

_The rain had long since departed the area, but a fog was rolling in. They exited the way they came in, but without the pretence of helping her cross the street. 'Are you going to walk me home, Mr Lupin?' She asked, eyebrow arched in query._

'_It would be my pleasure,' he said simply._

_Ginny lived a few blocks away, so they walked slowly through the streets, enjoying every stolen moment. When they arrived at her door, she was torn between wanting him to stay the night and wanting to keep things slow, if only to make the moment all the more sweeter. She needn't have worried._

_For all his talk of a fondness for forward women, Remus was the one to kiss her. It was a delightful kiss: slow, loving and patient, as if they had all the time in the world. When it broke, he kissed her forehead softly and took a step backwards._

'_Good night, Miss Weasley. Thank you for a most enjoyable evening.' He smiled and she returned it._

'_You're welcome. Good night, Mr Lupin.'_

_He glanced back at her and then walked out of the apartment block, his mind completely occupied with the lyrics and images of his newly budding romance._

Ginny woke, gasping for air. It was like waking from a terrible nightmare, except the dream had been a flashback to one of the best nights of her life. _Up until I met Jeff_, she corrected herself. She was drenched in sweat and was shaking terribly. It was completely unfair to be subjected to dreams like that. All she wanted was a normal life, with a normal husband and a normal daughter. No magic. Was it too much to ask?

Instead of a repeat of the other night, weariness overcame her soon after waking, and moments later she was deep in slumber once again.

* * *

**A/N: **Ok! So the first time I tried this I was kinda loopy on painkillers. Sorry! So, let's try this again! I haven't written anything on my other projects because: I'm in love with this fic, school's been a bitch and my grandma died so I had to suffer through a funeral with crazy, evil relatives and all the regular jazz! I want to thank everyone who read this before I uploaded it with an extra sloppy kiss to Iselin, my beloved beta who listens to me whine and who deserves a better writer than me but shhh, don't tell her that because then I'd lose her! So yes. ENJOY!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **The belated disclaimer is that, surprise surprise, I do not own anything from Harry Potter. If I did, this story would be aligned to the actual happenings in Potterverse.

**Do Hurry**  
Chapter Two

Remus had borrowed Sue's car. He was driving, driving away, driving forever along a ribbon of road. He had music on, something good, something he could melt his mind to if he felt like it. It was good, life was good, driving was good. He had no destination in mind, really. Or maybe he did. Somewhere at the back of his mind where no one dusted. London was behind him, getting smaller in his rear-view mirror, but the space in front of him just kept getting larger. He readjusted himself in the seat and took the next exit.

Harry and Ron were Harry and Ron. They lived together, they worked together and they played together. It was always reassuring to know that they were never going to change, never going to hate you or tell you that they desperately loved you, or even disturb your life in any way. Remus needed some calmness in his life and theirs was as good a port as any.

The garden was a mess, and since it was attached to the house Harry and Ron lived in, it was unsurprising. The weeds were choking any plant that had been foolish enough to lay down roots, and there was the husk of a pram lying in the flowerbed. Neither Harry nor Ron had any inclination towards doing gardening, and to bring it up was to verbally pull your pants down.

Harry was returning from a trip to the mailbox, hand full of white envelopes with windows, and when he saw Remus in Sue's car, he waited outside the house, his face set on "politely welcoming." Remus parked the vehicle and waved his hello to the other man. 'Good morning Harry.'

'Ron and I have had a vote. We've vetoed mornings.' He gave him a half-arsed smile and shrugged his shoulders. 'Would you like to come in?'

'Yes please.' Remus locked the car, pocketed the keys and followed Harry inside.

'Good Fazzleburp, Remus.' Ron said from behind a newspaper. 'Has Harry told you about our ban on mornings yet?'

Remus nodded and then, when he realised that Ron could not see him from behind the sport section he voiced his answer. 'Yes, he has. An interesting concept, I'll admit.'

Harry gave him a seat and a cup of coffee to go with the half-stale fruitcake he had found. The coffee was instant and had the distinct taste of something that had come from a tin that had a white label with the words "No" and "Frills" somewhere on it. Disguising his disgust, Remus ate some of the cake and instantly realised that their diet was at least ninety percent Molly Weasley's cooking. The other ten percent would appear to be take out, since the living room was littered with the shells of deceased burgers, chips and noodles.

Ron finally finished reading the paper and placed it down on top of some socks on the occasional table. 'Harry, are you going to do a load of washing, or what? These socks must be from two months ago. I didn't even know I owned a pair of green ones.'

'They're mine, Ron, and they're from last night.' Harry replied. 'The plan was to wait until your mum couldn't handle the sight of dirty clothes about the place and offer to wash them for us.'

'Oh yeah.' Ron sighed. 'D'you think you could though, mate? I'm getting a bit sick sitting here with the smell wafting over.'

'I don't even know how to wash clothes!' He complained. 'I've never had to wash clothes in my life.'

Both boys turned to Remus and gave him a meaningful look. He chuckled and shook his head. 'Oh no, no, no. I will not do your washing. If you can't even work out how to do a load of laundry, go down to a laundrette and wash them the Muggle way.'

'Oh well, it was worth a shot.' Ron took a sip of coffee, managing to do so without grimacing. 'What brings you 'round, Remus?'

'I needed to clear my head, calm myself, simplify a few things.' Remus sighed. 'Your sister has been acting up lately, and I thought that you might have some advice for me.'

Ron's face closed over. Remus was quite shocked with the sudden change, having taken Ron's open demeanour for granted, and even the air around him seemed to chill. 'Ginny walked away from her life and she walked away from me. I don't know anything about her any more, and until she comes to her senses, that's how I want it to be.'

'Don't be such a bitch, Ron.'

'Harry, I am not being "a bitch". You know how I feel about Ginny.' Ron set his jaw and Remus knew there would be no use trying to get information from him. Ginny had the same stubbornness and he had a gut feeling it was a family trait. 'I'm sorry Remus.'

Harry muttered something under his breath about Ron, which sounded suspiciously like "you're such a bitch". Remus sighed slightly. 'Very well. Thank you, anyway.' He finished his coffee, although he wished he hadn't, and ate a few more bites of the fruitcake. 'I will be on my way, then.'

'Oh, are you going to pass the shops?' Harry asked, rising as well.

'Oh, uh, I suppose I will be.'

'Could I get a lift then, please. I might as well do some do some washing.'

'Certainly!' Remus agreed and made his way to the car. Harry followed him out after a few moments, his arms full of bags. They drove to the local shops with very few words in between, which was good because Remus was trying to hide his disappointment and Harry had a hangover.

When they reached the laundrette, Remus decided he would pick up some staples in the supermarket and then wait with Harry because Ron was notoriously flaky when it came to picking up his friend. Packets of rice, noodles, sugar and milk later, Remus opened a Chocolate Frog and offered the leg of which to Harry who shook his head. Watching the washing machines at the laundrette was relaxing, almost hypnotic, and if Harry had not started a conversation, Remus would have dozed off.

'Ron does want to help you, like, deep down.' He said softly and Remus had to lean in to hear him over the loud thumping of the faulty machines. 'He loves Ginny so much that he has to cover the hurt with this… fake insensitivity.'

'I did get the feeling it was an act.' Remus confessed.

'The worst part is that it's he's taken it to heart. He doesn't care about anything any more.'

Remus paused. 'Not even you?'

Harry stared at the other man for a moment before mortal mortification overcame him and he hid his face behind his hands. Other patrons of the laundrette looked over with nosy curiosity at the scene of a middle-aged man causing enormous embarrassment to a man in his mid-twenties. Remus waved them away, likening them to vultures. 'No, Ron apparently cares for me. Lots.'

Remus chuckled, and that made Harry feel a bit better and soon they were back on the subject of wayward wives. 'I think you should play by Ginny's rules. She's completely Muggle now, right, so you should go through Muggle channels.'

'I don't follow you, Harry.' Remus admitted.

'It seems like everyone I know has a psychiatrist these days. Maybe you should suggest Ginny goes sees one, only the psychiatrist will be able to tell you why she's acting like a total prat.'

'It is a very good plan – on paper. I'll think more on it, but thank you.'

Harry's washing was done and then he put it in the dryers. When all was eventually finished, they bundled the clean clothes into the car and decided to go to lunch because they were both hungry and their stomachs were growling over the radio. Remus, having forgotten all but a few good restaurants in London after falling in love with a certain Italian place, chose to go to said Italian place and they ate at Frank's. It was a good day, one of good prospects, good food and good company, and when they had finished, paid the bill and had driven Harry back to his home, they said good bye on good terms.

London had never looked so lonely to Remus ever before.

º º º

Hermione wanted to meet Remus in a café that was so fashionable, their meals came with microscopes they were that small. He had not realised that his former student had expanded her tastes to include the hideously expensive, but he had also made the mistake of telling her to chose. They met there, at eleven because it was on the only free time Hermione could make in her schedule, and even then she brought along a dozen, alien, elektronic Muggle items and the personal assistant Remus had spoken to on the phone.

'Oh Remus, it's so great to see you again!' Hermione gushed as she greeted him with kisses to his cheeks. It left him rather disoriented, and he sat down before he fell down. 'This is my personal assistant, Charlene, and she will be doing some work for me as we talk. Is that ok?'

Remus nodded towards the young woman who waggled her fingers at him before returning to her elektronic typewriter and typing up a frenzy. He turned his attention to Hermione, who smiled brightly. 'How have you been?'

'Oh, _wonderful_, Remus.'

'Being a lawyer suits you,' he told her honestly, and she glowed even more than she already was. 'You've definitely found the right path for you.'

'It feels right to. Everything feels right. How have you been?' Hermione opened up a menu and started perusing the items.

'Uh, I've been ok. I've been better, obviously, but that's what I asked you out here for…'

'Oh dear, that's not good, Remus. Charlene, you don't like mushrooms, do you?'

The personal assistant shook her head. 'Nope, hate them.' Her eyes never left the elektronic typewriter.

'Well, you can have a roast chicken sandwich without mayonnaise. I'm going to have a garden salad. Have you made up your mind yet, Remus?' Hermione folded her menu again and put it next to her glass of water.

Remus started and looked through the menu. 'Oh, uh, I'll just have a tuna sandwich, with mayonnaise.'

Charlene made a face, which Remus could see over the screen. 'Mayonnaise? It will give you a heart attack, you do realise that, right?'

'Charlene! Please, be nice to Professor Lupin.' Hermione gave her personal assistant a pleading look and a pleading kick under the table.

'Sorry. My father died of a heart attack.' Charlene amended.

A waitress took their order away to be made and Hermione started truly listening to what Remus had to say. Charlene remained thankfully silent. Remus told Hermione all about Ginny and Audrey and how his life had been going steadily downhill ever since. When their lunch came, they ate it, lettuce falling on to the elektronic typewriter much to Charlene's annoyance and Hermione's exasperation.

'So where do I come into all this?' Hermione asked finally as his story finished.

'I'd like to have some legal advice up my sleeve, if and when Ginny choses to go for full custody.'

Hermione twisted her napkin in her hands. 'Oh, Remus. Ordinarily I would love to help you, but Ginny was one of my best friends when we were at school…'

'Hermione, are you still best friends? She has shunned everyone.' Remus lent forward so he could speak to Hermione without Charlene hearing, but it was a useless exercise since it was obvious the woman could. 'Ginny hasn't even told Audrey about her, well, birth rights, if you will.'

'The poor girl!' Hermione exclaimed, and Remus knew he had her. Having been born into a Muggle family, Hermione had always found she had to do more work than Ron just to make up for the years of being ignorant of her powers. That, and she did more work than Ron full stop.

'Will you help me win custody?' Remus asked.

Hermione nodded, guilt plain on her face. The bill arrived and they paid, both parties wanting to crawl back into their separate lives. Remus wished her well and told her he would be in contact and Hermione said that that would be nice and that she would wait for his call. For some reason, the entire meeting had been more demoralising than it was supposed to be.

º º º

Sue's car had a faulty heater, so it meant that one's feet got particularly toasty whilst one's upper body parts froze. Remus found it rather annoying, but it had no effect on Audrey, her being so small. She fiddled with harmless dials and turned the radio up loud. Remus smiled at her, but was too indulgent a father to tell her to stop.

It seemed to Audrey that they had been driving for far too long to be going to Frank's, or to go to Daddy's apartment where outside there were people with funny signs that looked like they could use her socks and gloves more than the ducks in the park. There weren't any huge buildings around, only houses like the ones in her neighbourhood, and there was nice grass and quaint shops. It was dreadfully boring.

'Where are we going, Daddy? Are we going to another park?'

He smiled. 'No, sweetie. We're going to visit some friends of mine.'

'Oh.' Audrey's brow furrowed. 'What sort of friends?'

'Friends I've known for a few years. Longer than I've known you!'

Her mind could not comprehend with the idea of a Before, so she returned her attention to the radio controls. After a few more moments, the car slowed down and Remus parked at a house that had a very messy garden and looked not very pleasant. Audrey screwed her face up at it. 'That looks yucky!'

Remus laughed. 'I know, but shhh!' He closed his door and walked around to pick up his daughter. Once safely held in his arms, they walked towards the "yucky" house. Remus let her knock on the door, and several moments later, a medium sized man with black hair, glasses and green eyes opened it.

'Hello Remus. And who might this be?' He asked, peering at her behind his rather thick glasses. Audrey fought the urge to poke him in the face.

'I'm Audrey. Who are you?'

The man laughed. 'I'm Harry. I haven't seen you since you were a baby!'

'May we come in? It's awfully cold out there and Audrey isn't getting any lighter!' Remus interrupted their reunion in a very well mannered way.

'Oh, of course, sorry.' Harry opened the door up further and guided them inside. Audrey did not like it inside, it was dark and there was rubbish everywhere. She didn't like rats or cockroaches, and she clung to her Daddy's neck even tighter. 'Ron, Remus' here.'

'Hi Remus.' Ron called from some other room.

'Hi Ron. I brought a friend along too.'

The man they all called Ron arrived from the other room, his hair wet and only wearing a pair of pants. As soon as he saw Audrey, he stopped.

'Remus…' he began.

'Ron, I'd like you to meet Audrey. Again.'

Audrey looked at the man who had entered and held out her hand like she had been told at school. Ron, that was his name, he had the same hair as her Mummy, and he was covered in freckles too. He shook her hand softly and looked at Harry. 'Are you behind this?'

Harry shook his head. 'Don't look at me. Remus wanted to bring her 'round, and since we had nothing planned, I thought it would be fun.'

'Have you got any socks?' Audrey asked suddenly.

'Er, uh, what?'

'Do you have any extra socks? Or scarves?'

'Why would I have extra socks or scarves?'

'Because the ducks in the park haven't got anything to keep warm and they're all freezing!' Audrey explained.

'Oh. Well, I have some old jumpers I don't wear any more. Will they work?'

Audrey thought about it. 'I guess so.'

Ron got dressed and found some rather old and rather ugly woollen clothes he no longer wore and was told to hop in the car with them. They went down to the park that Harry and Ron had not known existed and had looked for ducks to wrap up in warm clothing, but could find none. Harry suggested that Audrey create a bread trail to the jumpers and beanies, and once they had finished that, they had ice cream and hot chocolate.

When they went back home, Harry showed her these amazing photographs of when she had been a baby and he had been younger. He was holding her, and sometimes Ron was holding her and sometimes it was just Ron and Harry holding each other, playing with each other's hair, looking happy. The most amazing part of all of it was…they _moved_! Harry told her that the photos were secret and that she couldn't tell anyone, not even her Mummy. Audrey agreed and giggled with her fellow conspirator.

By the time Remus came to take her home, Audrey was too sleepy to protest much, but she had enjoyed her time at Ron and Harry's place and managed to wheedle a promise from her Daddy that they would come back to visit soon.

º º º

Sue had run off. He had come home to a note, an empty house and her side of the wardrobe well and truly cleared out. The note said that her old boyfriend, the boyfriend who played street corners with a guitar and four fingers between two hands, had come back to town and loved her eternally. Remus debated whether to have two glasses of red wine, two glasses of white, or to go drink at Frank's. He chose all three.

He was not, he decided, depressed over Sue herself leaving. Sue had been a distraction, a mindless, beautiful distraction with breasts and legs that could kill a man. It was the symbolism of the entire thing (and he told this to a number of customers before another waitress asked him to keep his voice down. He did and he asked her for her number, which she did not). Remus was old; he was getting on in years. Women left him; they took everything away from him. They took his money, his dignity, his children, and they never apologised.

It was Ron who eventually found him, slunk down in a booth with a boot missing. When Remus woke up on the couch, sunlight burning into his blood-shot eyes, a great world-weariness overcame him and he resolved to tell all about it to the porcelain gods. Harry was eating toast in the kitchen and Ron was being Ron with cereal. They gave him a cup of black coffee and did not say a single world, though they made some loud mimes over his head.

'Now, you know Ron and I love your company, Remus,' Harry began in a soft whisper that grated in his ears.

'But you'd like to know what I was doing in drunken oblivion at Frank's?' Remus finished, though his eyes almost self-destructed at the effort.

'Yeah,' he said, half-deflated.

Remus sucked in a breath of air through his teeth (they protested angrily). 'A moment of self-realisation, boys. Women enjoy using someone like me.' The pair were quiet, thinking. It was not a very nice thought, really, knowing that women were often conniving and manipulative without being aware of it. 'Somehow I don't think you two will ever have that problem.' Remus said, chuckling wheezily into the cup.

It rained, and Remus spent the day on the couch, watching water drip from the gutters into the garden. It was mediative, and he was in a trance-like state. It was good for him; he needed some time to reflect on his life and his priorities.

º º º

_Ginny's heart was pounding loudly, painfully, in her chest as she ran through the corridors. St Mungo's never seemed to let enough light in, even in the brightest of summer afternoons, so the hospital constantly had the feeling of an overcast, dismal day. Today was dismal for a reason completely unrelated to the weather. Her shoes squeaked on the floor in protest to the sharp turn she had made to enter the room. Her father was deathly pale and there obviously was very little time. Pushing aside some relative of hers, she reached the bed and froze._

_All her intensive training flew out of her head._

_Several years of residency and work just disappeared._

_Ginny could remember nothing of medicine upon facing her father on his deathbed._

_The problem with being at the top of a field was that there was no one to help you when you stumbled._

º º º

Jeff was ready to settle down. He worked hard and earned enough money to support his family that had grown in the last year or so. They had a nice house in a nice suburb with nice schools and nice neighbours that kept their own business thankyouverymuch. His fiancée was a pretty little number that made sure his dinner was ready when he wanted it and spent her days cleaning and reading books. There was not a lot he knew about Ginny, but she loved him and that was OK.

On Friday afternoon, the boss called him into his office.

Hello Jeff, nice to see you again, how's that lovely girl of yours? Going to make her an honest woman? Next spring, sir, we'll send you and invitation in March. Very good, very good, now Jeff, I just had a word from our American Office. Oh, really sir? What could they want? Oh, nothing to worry about, Jeff, just asked us if we had anyone we could trust, you know, to send over and work for a period, probably three years. Good solid number, that: three. I've had a chat with some of the lads and they think you're our man. What do you say? Well, I'd love to. I'll have to talk to Ginny first, though. Good show, give me your answer on Monday, will you?

When he came home that night, he told Ginny. She was quiet, considering. Jeff's friends all seemed disposable somehow. He could get ones just like it wherever he went and would feel no loss for having done so. Ginny had deeper roots here, her ex-husband for one, who always made Jeff feel uncomfortable. He had an intense way of looking at people as if he could find everything to know about them by just staring at their face. It gave Jeff the cold creeps, and sometimes indigestion.

º º º

Audrey opened the door with difficulty, being too short and in the possession of too small hands for the doorknob to work well with her. Her father was on the other side and as soon as she had it open, he lifted her into his arms and walked in to the lounge room. It was a Saturday morning and Audrey had been out of her mind with excitement when her mother had told her that Daddy was going to take her out on a day that was not Sunday.

His quick stay at Harry and Ron's had improved him tenfold. He had recovered, detoxified. Regained some of his senses he had lost when he had lost Ginny. Remus was dressed smartly today, not overdone, but not the casual rubbish he wore a few weeks ago, and the effect was something he approved of.

'Hello Remus, would you like to sit down?' Ginny asked in a voice that had recovered some of its old charm. His stomach seemed to lurch when he heard it, his body still rebelling against his mind when it came to Ginny. 'I have some chocolate biscuits out, they're your favourite after all.'

'Audrey, will you please go wait in your room? Your mother and I have to talk.' He ruffled her hair as he usually did and, although her face fell, she complied. 'Alright Ginny, what bombshell have you decided to drop on me this time?' His tone was harsh, but it was only fitting.

'Don't be like that, Remus. Please.' Her voice broke on the last word and he furrowed his brows. He took a seat and snatched a biscuit off the tray. 'I do have some news, though.' Ginny uncrossed and recrossed her legs. She would never get the housewife act down pat when she wore her short skirts with such carelessness that it made a man's mouth grow dry and salivate simultaneously.

'What is it?' He asked wearily. He was an older man. He'd have a heart attack soon.

'Jeff has been offered a job in America. In two months, we'll be moving to California. I'm going to go for full custody of Audrey. Oh dear, I forgot the sugar, excuse me.'

Remus had a heart attack. If not a true, honest-to-god heart attack, it was as close as he was ever going to have. His chest constricted painfully and he couldn't breathe. Ginny had not let off a bombshell; she had nuked all life on the planet. By the time she had returned from hiding in the kitchen, Remus had somehow managed to regain his composure, although his chocolate biscuit was well and truly crushed in his hand.

'I've already seen a lawyer, Ginny. I knew you would try something, I knew it. I'll fight for her, you ought to know that.' He told her very quietly. 'You can't take away my daughter and move across the globe.'

'I am _very_ sorry, Remus.' Ginny told him as she plopped three sugar cubes into his tea. 'My life no longer revolves around you. I have to do what's best for my family: Audrey and Jeff.'

Remus felt stifled. Everything in the room was oppressive, from Ginny's pig-headed stubbornness to avoid facing what she had left behind to the overpowering aroma of rose potpourri to the heavy drapes that blocked out the world. Remus wanted to vent, to scream, to kick something over. He sipped too sweet tea and did his best not to shake her until she realised how _stupid_ she was.

It was time, he decided coolly, that he change tactics. He had fulfilled her wishes like a submissive, loyal dog ever since the divorce papers had been signed in a hope that she would soon come round. Years had passed and it had led to the situation he was in now. He was about to let her go to America and take their daughter with her, even though he loved her desperately and wanted them to be a family again.

'Ginny, I won't let you fly away from me. I still love you.'

The house was quiet, the atmosphere surreal and still. He could feel his heart beat loud in his ears, adrenaline pumping through his veins as if he were running a marathon. Ginny was clutching at her hem, knuckles and face white. A sinister part of him felt like he was getting revenge, but truly, he didn't want to hurt her.

'Well, I never stopped loving you. I loved you so much I let you divorce me so that you could realise that we were meant to be together.' He chuckled slightly, although he was not amused at all. 'I never accounted for your ability to block things out.'

Silence. Her mind was audibly restarting.

'Remus,' her voice was strained. 'Please, don't do this.' Ginny looked distressed. 'I'm happy here, happy with Jeff.'

'No you're not.' He leant over and took her hand in his. 'You are here with him, and you're away from what you think is going to hurt you. Ginny,' he pleaded her name, 'can't you see? You're settling for second best because you don't want to face your fears.'

Her eyes were wide and she looked on the verge of tears. 'Please, Remus, stop. Don't…don't rock the boat.'

'Tell me you don't love me,' Remus said, and perhaps he was being cruel, but he was a desperate man.

Ginny closed her eyes tight as if she could get rid of him by not seeing him. 'I…I can't.'

Remus held her face in his hands, a thrill going through him as he remembered the countless times he had done so when she had been his. The skin under his fingertips was smooth and soft, and when he kissed her, it was a shock to his system. He felt like an addict getting a taste of a drug he had long forgot.

'Oh Remus.' She whispered. 'I wish you could understand…'

'Then tell me!' He suddenly raged. 'I want to understand. You owe it to me.'

Ginny shook her head. 'I'm sorry.'

Remus let out a sigh of anger and walked up the stairs to collect his daughter. They went to the zoo to see monkeys and lions and bears and then they ate fairy floss. When Audrey came home, she drew a picture of her mother in the cage she had seen a zebra in and she stuck it on her wall.

º º º

Dr Louise Breakwell had a pleasant office in a nice part of town with a window that had a view people spent many years and many dollars on. There had been a time when she had worked hard and long hours, with integrity and enthusiasm. Then her papers had been published in respected journals and she was no longer a healer: she was "shrink" for the spoilt rich. She was young, though, younger than many of her peers and the sudden rise to fame in the psychology world sparked rumours about her family and other private matters. Breakwell had no time for people under the influence of the Tall Poppy Syndrome, and merely survived knowing that her salary was far more than ample.

Her schedule was fairly open. The social standing of her clientele had dramatically increased in recent years, and now her patients would often cancel due to "engagements" they may have. Breakwell would have impressed the importance of mental health, but a friend of hers, Hermione Granger, asked her to pencil in a meeting with one of her former teachers. It was a twang of irony because, had he been in need of mental help personally, he would have had to wait many weeks.

Louise found Mr Lupin at her office at 10:30, smiling with the correct degree of warmness that one should allow to someone they had just met, but one that they hoped would be able to help. She led him in and offered him a cup of coffee (he accepted; white, three sugars) and asked him to explain why he was in need of her expertise, as it were.

'My wife, well, ex-wife now, and I were very happy together. We had a daughter and things seemed like they were going fine until she divorced me.' Remus told her, blowing on the coffee to cool it, though knowing that method was highly inefficient.

'I am sorry, but it does happen.' Louise said in a voice that was politely pragmatic. 'Go on.'

'She has moved in with a boring Mug…mug of a man, and he is boring. Completely, utterly, mind-numbingly dull. Ginny, that's my wife's name, she's running away from her life and from her family.'

Breakwell shrugged slightly, beginning to feel as if Remus was wasting her time by coming here to whine. 'What…Ginny, was it? What Ginny's doing is her own choice. I assume it's her own choice, unless there is a hidden gunman in the shadows with a pistol to her head.' A brief, true smile flittered across her face.

'No, no, there's no gunman. It's just that, well, Ginny was a Doctor for the army and I think something happened and now she associates anything from that sort of time period as bad and is trying to escape from it.' Remus spread his hands. 'It may just be a waste of time, and money on my part, but I have tried everything I can think of. I would be very much obliged if you would talk to Ginny.'

Louise sat back in her chair, tapping her pen lightly on her lips. 'I would like to help you, Mr Lupin.' She said eventually, slowly. 'Talk to my secretary and work out a time you can bring Ginny in.' She stood and he followed suit, leaving his coffee cup on the table, mostly untouched.

'Thank you, Dr Breakwell. I do appreciate it.' He said so earnestly that it was quite touching, Louise decided.

She guided him towards the door, but paused to shake his hand. The walking from the desk to the door must have built up static energy, because when she touched Remus, there was a short burst of electricity. It was unnerving, to say the least. Remus seemed to have felt it too because he was pale.

'Thank you for coming, Mr Lupin.' She managed to say, wanting desperately to break the silence. 'I hope things go well.'

º º º

It was a sleek monster, with a gleaming coat and leather seats that sighed with satisfaction as you sat in them. Remus had bought it on a whim, naturally. The women in his life were too inconsistent; one week they were there and the next they were leaving him for amputee musicians. He had no reliable form of transportation. He had walked into a dealership with a minimum amount of fake identification (and by Wizarding standards, it wasn't even very _good_ fake identification) and had bought what he was later told was a Jaguar. It certainly growled like a cat, he thought.

Remus would neither confirm nor deny if it was a midlife crisis.

º º º

**Author's Footnote:** Thank you greatly to those who have read this months ago and forgotten about it (Iselin, Big Tears) and to those who have read and reviewed. I apologise for the time it spent fermenting on my harddrive, but this is my baby and I don't like it going out in the world by its self.


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